At Autumn's End

 

Jerri's Hope: Finding Hope in Season's End

At Autumn’s End

The last of the leaves cling to the trees,
brown with hints of yellows and reds.
Winter’s bite is in the breeze
tiny animals make their frozen beds.

I walk with my face pressing
into the cold of the dawning day
and wonder if the spoken and unspoken fears
have come into our hearts to stay.

Frozen hours lie before us
it is not yet December, and there is snow.
I share the concern for times ahead,
for the future is not ours to know.

All mothers wish for days of joy
along the paths of their children’s lives.
Sometimes there are valleys with shadows looming,
and we pray on those days....mothers, wives.

We learn the most in uncertainty,
We comfort ourselves with false control
Faith is the price of abiding peace
when the nights are long and the gray clouds roll.

By Jerri A. Harrington

What is Wrong With America?  Finding Hope in Facing the Truth

         "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

      Last week, after the election, I was sent an article that upset me very much, not because I believed it was revolutionary or prophetic, but because there was little truth in it, and no hope.  Maybe some of you received the same email.  It said that America died on November 6, 2012, and the implication was that Democracy didn't work in America, because we re elected Barack Obama.  The election was long, and the campaign was brutal, but it wasn't because of the politicians.  It was because of the passion of the American people, and what was it that drove us to a voting frenzy the likes of which we have not seen in years?  

      Was it our desire to leave our children in stable households where parents are devoted to one another for life?  Obviously not, the divorce rate in this country is nearing 80% even among Christians.  And, really, is it our concern for the poor?  Maybe a few people voted out of their concern for the poor, but America, the money the candidates must spend to convince America to push a button, check a box or poke a chad would go a long way in housing and feeding our poor.  Friends,most of us voted out of fear, and that fear was not of terrorism, it was the fear of an empty pocketbook, an empty retirement account and a crashing stock market, and the sad truth is,the answer to those fears does not rest in the hands of the Republicans, the Democrats, Mitt Romney, or even President Obama.  And they are not to blame.  America, we are to blame, and the answer lies in turning back to God.  

     The problem is, we are a nation of excess, and we want our excess now!  It should be plain to us.  The number one health crisis in our country in all of our generations is obesity.  I have been overweight since I was a small child.  Yes, there are genetic factors, and yes there are metabolism issues...mine is far too efficient with calories.  But I still eat too much for my body.  The same is true with our consumerism in this country.  We spend too much for our economy.  We have been spending money we don't actually have in our pockets for far too long.

     I teach immigrants English, and the stories I hear from my students are sad and ludicrous.  Most of them come to this country, hoping for a life of freedom, and they are happy to be here, and willing to work hard.  But some of them come here thinking they will find money lying in the streets, stacked up on the street corners.  Their families are shocked to find they are not able to send money back home in baskets.  Why do they think that about America?  Because Americans spend money like we own the world!

     I remember my grandparents.  My grandmother had a few dresses, and my grandfather had his weekday overalls and his Sunday suit.  They were pretty typical.  We have come a long way from there.  Most of us have more clothes than we will ever wear.  Every season our church gives away several rooms full of  clothing from the excesses in our closets.  Probably some of it is still being paid for in our monthly credit card payments. 

     Consider the state of our families.  What are we teaching our children?  We are teaching them that what we "own" is more important than who we are.  We get married, and we promise to love one another until death do us part, or, maybe we promise "as long as we both shall love" or some such non-committal commitment.  We have lists of requirements for the "soul mate" for which we search, but when we find Mr. Or Ms. Right, we don't stop looking.  We want more of everything, and we give little without expecting...oh, everything on a silver platter.  We promise to love, and we ridicule. Women ridicule men for being different from women, but what woman really wants a womanly man?  

      Men want their wives to know what they want when they don't even know what they want or need themselves.  Women want their men to take control and lose control at the same time.  We all want too much!  We are teaching our children to expect too much and leaving them a legacy of want, because they will never succeed in meeting all of their own expectations.  We cannot have everything!

      What do we do now, in this country?  In our hearts, we know the answer.  We ask for forgiveness....down on our knees to our Creator, who we know we have sinned against.  We give up our idolatry of excess, and we repent of our sins....against Him, against each other and against our children.  We Christians are supposed to understand repentance.  We have been doing a lot of blaming and precious little owning up to our own responsibility.   I read a lot of mourning the morning following the election.   No matter who takes over the office of President, the answers do not lie in him.  If our democracy lives or if it dies, it will not be the fault or to the credit of any administration, any party or any one person.  God can make our democracy live.  We can destroy it with our own greed.  We are a nation of many blessings, bought at the price of the blood of our ancestors, and we are walking around on the excess debt we created ourselves.  Jesus said in Luke 12:15, "Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”  That is our problem, America.  Our future does not lie in the abundance of our possessions, but in Jesus.  And Him alone.  We must repent of our excess!

Finding Hope in God's Peace

Peace In the Face of Rage

In You we find peace in the midst of the storm
While faces of rage burn in our minds,
for their hatred of us is their hatred of You,
and You’ve promised victory  is not far behind!

“Those who live by the sword will die by it too!”
Wise  words of Your Son still hold true
As we appeal to You, Father,  to guide us through life,
You call us to the peace that’s in You!

A people most of us never have known
Through technology  send images of hate
Blood, fire and anguish thrust murderous mobs
crashing through Embassy gates!

Motivated by Satan, so evil and dark
Fueled by his lust for death
Destruction and hatred wreak punishing blows
and innocents gasp their final breaths.

How long, our Father, O how long
will evil reign harsh in this world?
How long will Your Name be blasphemed about
and your saints to torturous deaths be hurled?

“Those who live by the sword will die by it too!”
Wise  words of Your Son still hold true!
As we appeal to You, Father,  to guide us through life,
You call us to the peace that’s in You!

By Jerri Sisk Harrington

Sept. 14, 2012

Hope in the Generosity of the Love of the Father.

     I have been thinking about the brothers in the Prodigal son story.  The temptation is to distance ourselves from the younger son, the immoral one.  It's easy to understand why we do that.  His request to claim his inheritance even before his father died, was outrageous.  In essence, he was looking forward to the death of his father, and couldn't even wait to get his hands on his stuff!  Then he wasted it all on immoral living, allowing himself to wallow in the mud with the pigs.  He scorned his status as a beloved son, and gave himself away to immorality and base living, ending up eating with the pigs.  It's no wonder the older brother stood with his mouth gaping in indignation,  as his father ran out to greet his brother, who returned begging to just be a lowly servant.  We can feel the older brother's frustration as the father lavished rings and food on the son who had broken his heart.  After all, the older brother had been there as the father mourned the departure of the younger son.  He had helped pick up the pieces of the family, only to watch his father give his heart away once more to the son who had not only deeply disrespected him, but had wasted the riches the father had worked hard to accumulate.  What was happening there?  Did the father love the younger son more than the older, stable son, who had always stood by his side.
     Why did Jesus tell us the story of the two brothers?  Is it because Christian parents often lose one of their children to the influences and deceit of worldly pleasure?  I don't think it is of any comfort to share that kind of misery.  What loving parent would fail to shudder at the thought of watching a beloved child disappear into the horizon of a most certain disastrous fall?  There is no joy in watching the grief of another parent, even in a parable.
     Jesus knows  that we humans rise to dangerous heights and  then endure dangerous falls , up and down on the whims of envy and self promotion.  In other words, we are both sons.  There is great hope in that realization.  Much of criticism that is directed at Christians centers around our propensity to set ourselves up as God, judging the minds, actions and hearts of those we deem "less than" ourselves.  I didn't give a lot of forethought to the Chik Filet hoopla last week.  I respect the restaurant's policy of closing on Sundays so that their employees have the opportunity to worship on Sundays.  I also agree with the definition of traditional families; although, just like young people consider their friends part of their extended family, we cannot control how others define family.  I have not read in the Bible that defining family is our job.   I do value our 1st amendment right of freedom of speech,  but sometimes we should just keep our mouths shut, until we figure out what we really should be saying.  The Bible says we should flee sexual sin, and we must.  We may have circled our wagons around Chik Filet, but I haven't seen too many computers kicked to the curb, even though Jesus said that lusting after someone is adultery.  We paint others' sin in the blackest black while we meander around in our "shades of gray".
      Jesus summarized the law in two commandments: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and the second, like the first,  love your neighbor as yourself."  So Jesus said loving our neighbors is "like" loving God.  Jesus said that we would be known as Christians by our love for one another.
      Whether we find ourselves in a faraway land, heading home and being welcomed by our loving Father, or we have never strayed from Him, working as One with Jesus and the Holy Spirit, only to be overshadowed by the dramatic transforming work He is doing in others, we must abide in love, considering others more important than ourselves, seeking to serve rather than be served, and living as beloved children of our Heavenly Father.  Therein is our home, where He greets His children and  has blessed us all with abundant life.

Hope in Prayer and Petition

"Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.  And the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

      I get so tired from worrying!  Don't you?  I have so much to do everyday, and I have so much I want to do that I never get around to beginning.  My life is tick tick ticking away, and I fritter away the hours, doing what?  Painting a masterpiece...no.  Writing a best-seller?  not one.  Hugging my grandson?  Well, yeah, but I'm only with him a few hours  a week.  Hugging my hubby?  When we aren't both too tired.  Cleaning the house!?  Have you been to my house?  No.  Well, then...yeah, cleaning my house.  HA!
      No,  just like many of you, I worry away the hours.  That is such a waste of time you might think, and you would be right.  But you don't know my worries.  They are much more productive than yours.  Of course they are!  And, because I have put in so much time worrying, I have added exactly....0 years to my life.  In fact, I may have subtracted a few.
      Oh, I pray!  I ask God to heal, seal, cinch a deal.  I ask Him to intervene, make me clean, make me the greatest writer the world has ever seen.  But what does He mean when He says, "Have no anxiety...." ??  Doesn't He see the traffic in Northern Virginia?  If He does, then it is reasonable to assume that the emergency vehicles I hear, could, at any moment, be rushing to the rescue of any number of my family members, who no doubt need their mother, wife, grandmother, friend at their side to miraculously heal them with her prayers.  So I spend a lot of my time praying without breathing, waiting for the sound of a key in the lock, or the "Hello." on the other end of the phone. What if I forget to pray for someone?  God is still God, and He sees when a sparrow falls out of the sky.   Have no anxiety.

       But in everything....   What things are too small to bring before the throne of God?  Well....nothing.  I had a friend tell me not to pray for help with our finances, because the God of the universe does not have time to balance my checkbook.  That's a tidbit of advice I have many times wished I had ignored.  What if we had consulted God before we made a purchase...or, in the case of buying a house, before we chose NOT to make a purchase.   God would have helped us make wiser decisions, and the military would have bought a house for us!.
      What things are too big to ask God to accomplish?  Again...not a thing..  Yes, God can bring peace.  He can divert an asteroid from the earth.  In fact, we are hurtling through space at speeds we are better off not knowing about, dodging all kinds of cosmic bullets, and God handles all of that like a conductor effortlessly drawing beautiful music out of a group of highly trained musicians. Can God make a purse out of a sow's ear?  It depends on what he has purposed for the sow's ear, but yes, He can.  And if He doesn't want the sow's ear to become a purse, it will forever be a sow's ear. Why would a sow's ear want to be a purse anyway?
    We would be forever grateful if we truly trusted God to take care of whatever it is that is causing us anxiety.  What if you never had to worry about your health...even if you have cancer....or any other chronic disease.  What if you believed God had it all covered....how you could be cured, paying for the hospital bills?  Do you think the doctors would notice?  Do you think the world would notice.  Don't worry about becoming a city built on a hill...or the salt of the earth.  We will shine like a city set on a hill and speak like our words are seasoned with salt when we allow God to be God and thank Him in advance for taking care of all of our concerns in life. And then, after thanking Him in advance, we make our requests known to Him.
      Of course, He already knows our requests.  So why do we still need to ask?  I don't know, but I know I need to ask. Because it is only after thanking him and making my requests known that I can have peace.
       And, after all is said and done, isn't the peace "that passes all understanding" exactly what everyone is striving for in life, with all of the work, all of the worry, all of the searching?   Peace.

Hope in Facing Giants

God told Moses to send some men to go spy in the land of Canaan that God had given the Israelites. Moses always obeyed God, so he sent out twelve men, among whom were Joshua and Caleb. The land was rich and full of produce, and all of the spies reported this to Moses, but ten of the men also stirred up the people by predicting certain defeat at the hand of "giants" that lived in the land. God knew those giants were there, of course, but He wasn't concerned about them. Neither were Joshua or Caleb. Numbers 13 says Caleb silenced the naysayers by saying to Moses,"We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it." Numbers 13:30

Are you facing any giants? Are there naysayers predicting your inevitable defeat if you take them on? God knows those giants are there. He isn't concerned.
Most of the time, the real giant we face is the naysayer inside of us, battling for the soul. Don't listen to that Liar, for "the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1John 4:4

Hope in Aging, in Spite of Illness--the Great Physician!

Well, this week has been full of surprises!
On Monday, Don and I had dentist appointments, and neither of us had any cavities....no more appointments for six months!  What a blessing after a year of  two crowns and root canal!

 The "thing" we have been waiting to happen with our son Nathan seems to be on the horizon, so we are singing some praises over here! If you don't already know what the "thing" is...believe me it is huge, and we are thankful....including Nathan!

 Lisa got some wonderful news, which still has me smiling and thanking God!!  Her PET scan on Tuesday was a "hair away from absolutely normal", and she is only halfway through her chemo!!  Praise God!  She had a challenging chemo on Thursday, but by yesterday she was feeling great!  That has to be God's healing Hands!!

Thursday I had my appointment with my diabetes specialist.  She gave me not great news in the best way possible, and by the end of my appointment, I was feeling like it was no big deal to be on insulin all day long!  It turned out to be a bit more challenging than I thought...yesterday was my first day.  I had a day of highs and normals, but by evening the thought of food made me almost run for the bathroom!  I went to bed completely exhausted.  But today is a new day, and my morning blood sugar was much better.

Entering the Sunset Years!

Last but maybe not least....I will be wearing glasses for the first time in my life.  I was thankful to have only a tiny diabetic change in the back of my right eye....a tiny speck of a hemorrhage , which we have to "keep an eye on".... pun intended!  But the reason I was seeing blurry which caused my diabetes specialist to request an immediate eye examination, was not diabetic retinopathy...but the worsening of my vision, requiring me to start wearing glasses.  At least I'm not in bifocals yet.  I asked Don to make sure he isn't the kind of guy who "won't make passes" if this old girl wears glasses!  He asked if I had "looked" at him lately?  lol!  (He has a collection of all strengths of glasses and a contact!)  I love my husband.  I might even stop coloring my hair and we can start really growing old together!

Well, we have to live up to our titles, EeeEee and DooDah!  We are 57....old age?  Bring it on!  We have a Great Physician, and the end is better than the beginning!  Hope!

Hope in Aging, in Spite of Illness--the Great Physician!

Well, this week has been full of surprises!
On Monday, Don and I had dentist appointments, and neither of us had any cavities....no more appointments for six months!  What a blessing after a year of  two crowns and root canal!

 The "thing" we have been waiting to happen with our son Nathan seems to be on the horizon, so we are singing some praises over here! If you don't already know what the "thing" is...believe me it is huge, and we are thankful....including Nathan!

 Lisa got some wonderful news, which still has me smiling and thanking God!!  Her PET scan on Tuesday was a "hair away from absolutely normal", and she is only halfway through her chemo!!  Praise God!  She had a challenging chemo on Thursday, but by yesterday she was feeling great!  That has to be God's healing Hands!!

Thursday I had my appointment with my diabetes specialist.  She gave me not great news in the best way possible, and by the end of my appointment, I was feeling like it was no big deal to be on insulin all day long!  It turned out to be a bit more challenging than I thought...yesterday was my first day.  I had a day of highs and normals, but by evening the thought of food made me almost run for the bathroom!  I went to bed completely exhausted.  But today is a new day, and my morning blood sugar was much better.

Entering the Sunset Years!

Last but maybe not least....I will be wearing glasses for the first time in my life.  I was thankful to have only a tiny diabetic change in the back of my right eye....a tiny speck of a hemorrhage , which we have to "keep an eye on".... pun intended!  But the reason I was seeing blurry which caused my diabetes specialist to request an immediate eye examination, was not diabetic retinopathy...but the worsening of my vision, requiring me to start wearing glasses.  At least I'm not in bifocals yet.  I asked Don to make sure he isn't the kind of guy who "won't make passes" if this old girl wears glasses!  He asked if I had "looked" at him lately?  lol!  (He has a collection of all strengths of glasses and a contact!)  I love my husband.  I might even stop coloring my hair and we can start really growing old together!

Well, we have to live up to our titles, EeeEee and DooDah!  We are 57....old age?  Bring it on!  We have a Great Physician, and the end is better than the beginning!  Hope!

Hope in Not Being Left Alone

Today I woke up early and had some God and Jerri time. Lately I have been trying to feed a lot of sheep and not allowing myself to be led beside the still waters myself. Last Thursday evening just past midnight, I woke up sick with a stomach flu that zapped every ounce of mental and physical energy from my body. I wanted to read...couldn't...tried watching TV, but I slept for 32 hours with hardly a break, waking up to force a grape or two down here and there, since I am diabetic, and inability to keep down food and water can turn into a trip to the ER. At some point in the night I thought that I needed to check my blood sugar, since I take insulin, but I could not stir up the energy. Finally, Saturday I woke up around ten AM, and I felt as though someone had beaten me within an inch of my life. Every muscle, joint and sinew hurt! I sat in my art room and finished up a Beth Moore study, sipped liquids and ate an orange. Don had left these for me along with some flowers. By evening, I felt good enough to make dinner for us, and I ate a little.

This morning I was thankful for my weird weekend. Why? Because the next time my friend, Lisa....who is closer than a sister...tells me she is having one of her "dog days" as the result of her chemo treatments for lymphoma, I will have a tiny, miniscule taste of her frustration...and the sense of losing time, when time is so precious to her. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Compassion and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2Corinthians 1:3-4

God, in His love and compassion for mankind, made it so we do not have to suffer alone!

Hope.....Even When We are Misjudged

Usually it is Christians who have the reputation of being judgmental. Jesus knew we would be tempted. That is why He warned us: "Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1-2)

Often other people who don't share our beliefs about God and Jesus misjudge Christians either by what others who claim Christianity do, or by preconceived ideas of what Christians believe. It's hard to take when someone is angrily denouncing all Christians over the actions of a few, or the rumors of the actions of a few or many.
For one thing, any Christian who claims to have no sin....fails to walk in truth. I John 1:8 says: "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."

I haven't met too many Christians who "claim to be without sin". If a person truly believed herself to be "without sin" the blood of Christ would be without meaning in her life, not unlike in the lives of atheists. I have met people who seem to think that Christians are fair game for their ridicule and hateful judgments. There is nothing more annoying than someone spouting off hatred for all Christians in a torrent of bitter complaints about the injustice done to mankind without knowing the first thing about the life or practices of the person standing before him. What if every atheist was blamed for the abhorrent actions of a few? Not every atheist is a Communist, although Communists are generally atheists. How many murders were done in the name of Communism, and just how fair would it be to blame all atheists for the atrocities of the KGB?

So where is the hope in all of this self-righteousness and judgment by mankind? There is hope for the sinner who knows he is a sinner: I John 1:9 says,"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." It really doesn't matter whether or not we believe the Bible or whether we believe we are sinners, there is a truth out there, and that is: "ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God.".

If you are an atheist...a person who rejects all religious belief...who has been wounded by the sins of Christians, I am sorry. Know that we have also hurt one another by our judgments. If you are a Christian hurt by other Christians' judgments, it might help to think about times you have misjudged and hurt others yourself. If you are a Christian...a follower of Jesus Christ...who truly has a love for people like He did, and if you have been accused, tried and convicted by those who choose not to understand, then cheer up, because: "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in Heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Jesus died for all.

Hope in Beholding His glory!

"....I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and I will bring you back from captivity."
I have been freed from captivity. I was first freed from the captivity of sin when I gave my life to Christ at the age of fourteen. That was forty-three years ago, and God continues to demolish strongholds in my life. "O Lord you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.". I have to say they have often been small, my thoughts, consumed by the here and now. But He has lifted me up to walk among the saints...to answer His calling, and he has met me heart to heart, if not face to face at the Christian Writers Guild, Writing for the Soul Conference in Denver. I have followed Moses up to the mountain and have watched from afar as God revealed His glory. I have heard the prayers of men who have the battle scars of David but the radiance of Moses as he came from the tent of meeting with God. With unveiled faces they spoke of His power and His love and I believe, Lord, I believe in the future of the servants of Christ.
Now, finally, on my knees before Him...I am ready. Here I am, Lord, send me!!

Finding Hope in the One Who Fights For Us

I hate goodbyes of all kinds.  In a few days, my son Steve will move to Richmond to live.  He has lived in the same area as the rest of our family since he came back from college ten years ago.  Now he is following love and a new life to Richmond, only an hour away.  I won't say goodbye to Steve and Bronte, his girlfriend.  I'll say, "I'll see you when I see you!"  And I'm sure we will make that happen.

My friend Lisa begins chemo this week.  We have been assured that she won't die from the lymphoma that grows and has been increasing in her body.  The chemo will cost her hair but not her life right now, as long as all goes well.  But, no matter what, I won't say goodbye to Lisa either.  I'll say, "I'll see you when I see you!", because both of our final destinations is in Heaven where we will live forever with our Heavenly Father.  We are truly sisters, and one day we will live with our Father.  As will our other family members who share the same Father and Savior.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit makes me feel the lightness of the assurance of eternal life.  I almost feel my own spirit rising to meet His when I am deep in prayer.  But the worldly worries weigh me down sometimes.  Will my son and Bronte be safe in Richmond?  Will they have what they need?  What is their eternal destiny?  What about the eternal destiny of all of my family?  Will we live together with our Heavenly family?

And what about Lisa?  Will she be okay?  My hope is not in my own ability to make all of my loved ones healthy, happy and Heaven bound.  My hope is totally in Him.  "The Lord will fight your battles.  You need only be still!"  Exodus 17:17.  There are battles ahead and dangers.  He will fight for us all!

Hope in Remembering....Jesus Lives!

What an extraordinary beginning to the school year we have experienced here in the Washington area!  It's as if God was getting us ready for the 10th anniversary of 9-11 by reminding us exactly Who has the real power in this world!!  (Hint:  it isn't a bunch of guys from countries far away who don't mind sacrificing their lives to bring death and destruction into ours!)  The first week of the DC school year was shortened because of an earthquake!  So rare are earthquakes in our part of the world that, even though my car was shaking back and forth violently at a stoplight, my husband and I assumed we were about to be in the market for new wheels, not that the earth was moving beneath the old ones!  Then, Hurricane Irene interrupted not only PG county schools, but the power for most of Maryland!  Frustrated Facebook friends posted, I'm assuming on their mobile phones before they lost all power, irate words for the power companies.  And then, who would have thought that Virginia schools would have been interrupted by flood waters rushing in, all over the area, from Tropical storm Lee?  Tragedy befell each one of those natural disasters in the form of falling trees, car accidents and, this past Friday a twelve year old boy was swept from his own backyard and drowned in the flood.

Our family has had such an eventful year that I'm not sure we even have a status quo at the moment, but, if we did, it was certainly disturbed this month by the events I described; however,  none of those match last Friday's diagnosis of  lymphoma received by my best friend, Lisa.  I don't believe in accidents, and I'm a writer, so I analyze to death ironic plot twists in fiction both in movies and in books.  I could not have imagined that an earthquake, a hurricane, a flood and even the terror threats and memories of 9-11 would be eclipsed in my life by the threat of cancer, the diagnoses, and the impending treatment of someone so dear to me.  I'm sure that the parents of the 12 year old boy lost in the flood would not have predicted such a horrible loss a week ago either, just as, 10 years ago, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, parents, children, and grandparents could not have predicted that they would never again see the faces of those lost in 9-11, as they left for work or boarded planes that beautiful fall morning.

How can we find hope in the midst of such uncertainty?  Well, our hope cannot be in this life.  Tonight, as Lisa and I  stood talking in the rain....I know, she's sick, and we were outside talking in the rain....anyway, we were, and Lisa said to me, "I'm so ready to take this journey!"  I looked her in the eyes.  She meant it.  Every word.  I could almost hear an echo, "Let's roll!"  Lisa is not a glutton for punishment, and she probably would never consider herself a hero.  But she does have the courage of faith....because she knows Who it is who has the real power in this life. She has told me many times, in many situations, both hers and mine....."I don't know how it's going to happen, but I serve a God who is able...."   There is great hope in remembering that truth!

Lisa (R) and our friend, Hazel, at my house

God  spoke, and the universe came into existence.  He formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed life into his lungs.  He formed a nation from the union of a century old couple.  He allowed His only Son to die for  our sins, and He raised Him from the dead.  A few weeks ago, there was an earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake.  There was a hurricane, but God was not in the hurricane.  There was a flood, but God was not in the flood.

Ten years ago, man did unspeakable evil to man, but God was not in the evil.  My friend has cancer, but God is not in the cancer.  God is in the still small voice that speaks to my friend...and us all....that says, "Jesus lives."

Reasons to Hope: Hope in Acceptance

Reasons to Hope: Hope in Acceptance: "I am finally at a point in my life where most of my memories center around the years when my children were small, instead of when I was. Ou..."

Hope in Acceptance

I am finally at a point in my life where most of my memories center around the years when my children were small, instead of when I was.  Our first year of marriage was the beginning of ancient memories, and the memories of all of those years are my most treasured times.  I remember being young and having my own knees, that I didn't even think about!  I remember sitting in chairs all folded up and contentedly reading books--all of the way through in one day!  I remember staying up late with Don and our couple friends on Friday nights, laughing, playing cards, cooking, eating, going to the laundry mat late at night together, and then sleeping until noon Saturday morning.  I remember waking up next to Don and feeling like we were luckiest people in the world to have found each other, and I still feel that way..  I remember Don, when he was in his twenties and could jump over Volkswagons in a single bound.  We would be walking along, and he would fly over my shoulder and land in front of me, all of while explaining that his long toes were like springs that propelled him.  I remember after each of our babies were born, how it felt like God had given us the most miraculous gift in each of our boys....the newness of the little soft heads and sturdy little boyness of our babies.  I loved how, when they learned to walk and talk, they would run for the front door the moment I announced, "Daddy's home!"
      I remember four little boys, running ahead on the walking path, headed toward the park, running away from us....running toward their lives.  And there we are now.  I am thankful for those memories, and I miss our young family.
      God witnessed all of those days...the good ones as well as the ones that weren't so good.  He witnessed the deterioration of my knees and some of my dreams, and He provided new knees and new dreams.  He sees my heart and what I miss about my youth.  He knows that Don and I need some newness again.  The beginning of the families of our married children is a type of newness, but it is their beginning.  We need our own separate beginning, a newness for our old age.
One thing I love about being a Christian is that every day we can start new....a day with possibilities of its own, separate from all of the others.  But, first we have to leave the day before, in order to have a new day.
    So there it is--it's time to leave behind the family of our youth and become the family of our golden years.

Don and I were not a young married couple long before we became a family of three.  We were married a year and three months when our oldest was born, and that was the beginning of a wonderful time of fun and family.  We needed every ounce of that youthful energy to raise and provide for our four sons.  Now we are both tired and not liking it much.  But we still are a family, and we still have dreams!  More than that, as long as we have life, God has given us a purpose and a hope for forever!  And we also have memories of our youth together, and the promise of being one for the rest of our future!  And in a week, we will have spent 36 years together as husband and wife!

Finding Hope in not judging--not even ourselves!

Our minister preached about judgmental Christians yesterday, and I'm guilty, I'm ashamed to say.  God's been working on me for a long time, and last week He continued His work as I read the book of Job.  I've always considered the book of Job to be a story of perseverance, and it is.  However, at this reading I discovered the message of human judgment.  To sum it up:  we get it all wrong, every time!

If it's been a long time since you've read Job, I'll sum it up for you.  Job was a righteous man who lived long before God called the Israelites a people unto Himself.  He lived in a day when any man, like Abraham, could offer sacrifices for sin.  Job was so righteous that he not only offered sacrifices for himself, he offered them for his grown children who might have sinned without knowing!

God blessed Job, and, on a day when the angels presented themselves to Him,  the Devil came into God's Presence.  God mentioned to the Devil, "Have you considered my servant Job?"  The Devil then challenged God by basically saying, "Sure Job will be righteous as long as you keep blessing him, but what if...."  So, God gave the Devil permission to bring harm to Job....but only to a point. Job's property, children and servants were all lost.  Job did not sin in what he said, although he questioned God.  Then the Devil convinced God to allow him to plague Job with sores, but God would not allow him to take Job's life.  After that, we find Job, a broken man, sitting in the ashes scraping his sores and being nagged by his wife, accompanied by friends. who couldn't speak for three days, because of the depths of Job's suffering.  And then they spoke.

Eliphaz, his first friend starts out by saying, "Job you were such a big shot...pious...a teacher, but what innocent man ever suffered as you have?"  In other words, "Job you've always acted as though you were something special, but look at you now!  You must have done something to deserve what is happening to you!"
I have heard it said  that Christians are the only people who shoot their wounded.  The first time I heard it, I thought that was funny.  That was because it is true!  I have been wondering why we are so harsh in our judgment of each other, and I have come up with a few reasons:  If we can make whatever happens to another man's family something he could have prevented by a more righteous life, then we can avoid such a disaster in our own by being....or convincing ourselves that we are...more righteous than he!  Control!  None of us have it, but we all want to believe that we do!  Job lived a righteous life, noticed by God Himself.  And yet his "friends" were ready to heap misery onto his suffering by blaming him for all of the harm brought on him by the Devil!  Maybe jealousy was their motivation, or the horror of disaster falling on their friend.  But, before we condemn his friends as "no friends at all", consider how many times we have said of our own friends:  "She wouldn't have gotten cancer if she'd made all of her doctor's appts."  or "What was going on in that home that their kid turned out like that!"  Our preacher is right, we think we're okay as long as we precede our commentary with, "Bless his heart...."  Don't be blessing my heart...I'm just sayin'!  :)

Job's friend, Bildad, was indignant!  "How long will you say such things?" he asked Job.  Bildad was threatened by Job's questioning of God.  He accused Job's children of sinning and basically said they got what they deserved!  Job's kids were dead!  How nice of Bildad to comfort Job that way!  I had a friend from another church whose son committed suicide.  I'm not sure of the chatter surrounding the death of their son, but I do remember the minister's wise words at the funeral.  He basically said that we all depend on the mercy of God. None of us knows the eternal destiny of another.  What good would it do for those who are left if we set ourselves up as judge and jury for this young man's eternal destiny?  Job needed comfort from his friends, but instead they blamed him and his dead children for the losses brought into his life by Satan.

Job's friend Zophar basically told Job to shut up and suffer in silence!  He accused Job of secret sin and deceit.

I love Job's response to them, probably because sarcastic comebacks get me every time, I should be ashamed to admit.  "Doubtless you are the people and wisdom will die with you!"  I love it.  Then Job insists, "I am not inferior to you!"  Job has one on me there.  Whenever misfortune hits, I tend to crawl in a hole and draw the hole in with me for a bit.  I usually have to chase myself out of the hole, but more often God drags me out kicking and screaming.  Always I blame myself and feel inferior.  But even if Job would have felt inferior, the opposite was true.  It was his righteousness that caused the Devil to bring disaster his way, and that made God confident in Job's ability to withstand the tumult.  Job didn't allow his friends to chase him down a shame spiral.  I admire him for that!

Of all of his friends, I dislike Eliphaz the least...in fact, I kind of like him.  He spoke of the greatness of God, truthfully.  His praises were still an admonition to Job, and he still was without understanding of the causes of Job's trials.  How often do we admonish our friends with the greatness of God, rather than comfort them with it.  I have been guilty of this.  It's almost like saying, "I don't have time to listen to your belly-aching, so let me throw some truth about who God is at you!"  How loving is that?  It is as our minister admonished US yesterday:  "Sometimes the best way you can convey God's love is to listen!"  Yes, it is hard to listen to our friends...or even acquaintances....suffer, because it scares us!  If we hang around very long, maybe their suffering will rub off on us.  Or, if we truly believe that they are suffering through no fault of their own, then we could find ourselves in their position.  Perhaps that is why we are told in the Scriptures:  "Perfect love casts out fear." 1John 4:18.  If we love our friends, we will bear their burdens, even if they are suffering through the things we fear most in the world.

My favorite part of Job is where God speaks.  He Himself reminds Job of who He is, how He created all things, possesses all power and that Job himself was created by Him.  Job acknowledges God's power, wisdom and the superiority of His will.
And then God gave it to Job's friends!  He said, "I am angry at you (Eliphaz) and your two friends because you have not spoken of me what is right, as Job has!  So now take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves.  My servant JOb will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly.  You have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has."  So Job's friends obeyed God, Job prayed for them and God accepted Job's prayer for them.  Talk about grace!  There was God's grace and willingness to forgive Job's friends, and then there was the confidence on God's part--well, He does know all things--that Job would be willing to pray for his friends.
That speaks volumes.  Then Job had the grace to pray for his friends, and they had the humility to bring the sacrifices before Job after maligning him unjustly.

And then God blessed Job, restored all that he had lost, and made the second part of his life better than the first part.  Of course, he never got back the children or servants he lost, though God gave him more children and servants.  Job accepted God's grace, and he forgave his friends for judging him in his time of sorrow.  Grace.  We all need it.  Judgment....belongs to God alone!

Reasons to Hope: Dream On!

Reasons to Hope: Dream On!: "Last night I juggled between finales of the Biggest Loser and Dancing with the Stars! I was so excited going into that evening, and I'm not..."

Dream On!

Last night I juggled between finales of the Biggest Loser and Dancing with the Stars!  I was so excited going into that evening, and I'm not a big fan of most TV shows!  I realized as I pondered the evening and why I was moved almost to tears several times, as I have been all season, that what gets to me is the hope realized!  I want that with my biggest goals!
  
Other than going to Heaven surrounded by everyone I love....which isn't a goal that is mine to realize, my biggest goals are to lose weight and become healthy and become a fruitful writer!  Actually, even those goals are not completely mine to realize!  In fact, the very air that I breathe is provided for me by my gracious Heavenly Father, who gave me life.  And, even as I shed tears for the victory of the contestants on the Biggest Loser, and got a little emotional for even the frivolous dancers on Dancing with the Stars, I kept turning to the weather channel to watch the powerful and terrible destruction from the tornadoes in the midwest.  Life is a gift, life is fragile, and even what we accomplish is only through the grace of God, who is the author and perfector of our faith, the giver of life itself and the origin and fulfiller of our every hope and dream!

Dream on, but never ever stop asking God for His help and direction!

Reasons to Hope: Hope in Fear--Part 1

Reasons to Hope: Hope in Fear--Part 1: "My greatest enemy is fear, and I know that some fear comes directly from the enemy! But there is a good kind of fear that is sanctioned b..."

Hope in Fear--Part 1

My greatest enemy is fear, and I know that some fear comes directly from the enemy!  But there is a good kind of fear that is sanctioned by God and brings us closer to Him.  Psalm 111 is a Psalm of praise and acknowledgement of God's goodness, power and authority.  It begins with a promise to praise God in the "council of the upright and in the assembly".  It goes on to declare the awesome majesty of God and His works.
Then, the key words are in verse 10:  "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding.  To Him belongs eternal praise."  This verse deserves some study.  If the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord, then what is the origin of foolishness?  Could it have something to do with fear as well?  In this post I am going to research the kind of fear that defeats us:

1.  Fear stemming from wickedness that leads to paranoia:  "The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion."  Wherever sin exists and we allow it, we know it is there.  It causes fear, and it should, because we are in opposition to our God.  But that fear can result in paranoia.  A friend of mine from my youth talked badly about other people.  A lot of what she said was speculation, and that was obvious because she drew conclusions that she had no way of proving.  I tried not to let anything she said pass through my "filter" and into my opinion of other people, but somehow that type of thing is like a cancer eating its way into other people's reputations.  I had no choice but to confront my friend.  After that, it was as though she thought I was out to get her!  She berated me behind my back, as I had heard her berating others to me.  It was very upsetting and threatened to derail me.  There is an illustration I have used  when talking about gossip with my Bible classes.  "When you speak ill of another person it is like this:  (I would stand on a chair and rip up a piece of paper into tiny bits of confetti and then release them into the breeze.)  Now go pick up those bits and put that piece of paper back together again.  Oh, you can't?  Well, that is how hard it is to get back something bad you have said about another person.  It does damage forever."  Finally, I decided to choose peace over anxiety with that situation.  After all, had I ever sinned against someone with my tongue?  Have I ever been guilty of judging another?  I let my "friend's" sin serve as a painful reminder of my own.   The enemy quit pursuing me in that situation.

2.  The fear of evil.  This one is tough, because evil is out there.  Raising children in today's climate is enough to make cowards of us all, but the one thing children need is courageous parents.  I applaud the young parents I know.  They are raising their children with thoughtfulness, kindness, care and wisdom.  It is a good thing, because I can't even imagine the world my grandchildren will face.  But this I know, God will be in control.
Good will win in the end of every situation, especially if we give Him control.  In fact, God is the answer to the fear of evil.  Yes, evil happens in a world of free will, but we can all call out to God.  I pray daily for God's care for my children and all children.  Nothing can make me go into fierce Grandma warrior mode more than a big kid looming over my grandson.  But I won't always be with him, and neither will my son and daughter-in-law.  He must learn to prevail over evil, and even when he does, there will always be the "giants" out there.
He must, like David, learn to carry in his pocket the stones and slingshot of faith in the One who created the universe.  In Psalm 23:4, David, the shepherd boy turned king, wrote, "I will fear no evil, for You are with me....your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  Shepherds used the rod to beat off predators and the staff to guide the sheep.  O Lord, My God, please use your rod to beat off the predators in our world, and give us the wisdom to be guided by your staff, and we will live our lives in the comfort of Your protection.

3.  Fear of death.  I grew up surrounded by the pall of the fear of death.  In my grandfather's family, his brother was drowned in a river at a young age.  My grandparents, who raised children during the Dust Bowl in Oklahoma in the Great Depression lost their only son to an infection when he was nine years old.  Their oldest daughter was crippled by juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, my mother almost died from a ruptured appendix like her brother, and their youngest daughter died at childbirth.  My grandmother never got over the losses, and my own mother lived with the fear of losing someone she loved.  It colored my childhood.
I didn't learn to swim until I was twenty years old, and I love swimming!  My own mom still can't swim.  Could that stem from my grandfather's brother drowning?  I think so!  To this day if I call my mom and I'm at the gym or the store in the evening, she worries.  She's always saying to me, "Why don't you stay home?"
I understand.  No one goes out the door at my house without me saying to them, "Wear your seatbelt."  My neighbor scolded me for warning my son like that....my 25 year old son...insisting I must have embarrassed him.  So I asked my son, and he said, "No, why would that embarrass me me, Mom?  I'll be 45 years old, and you will still say to me, 'Wear your seatbelt.'"  So, my sons have grown accustomed to my fear of their death.  But I don't need to fear their death or mine, because it is just a passageway into a life where death and tears do not exist.  The hope of Heaven takes away that fear.  Our fears should motivate us to share our faith with our children, as we admonish them to do things to protect their lives.  Let's leave behind that fear of death and fear only anything that would separate us from our eternity with God in Heaven.

4.  Fear that paralyzes us and makes us ineffective.  This is the fear that plagues me the most!  Some call it the fear of failure.  I think it is what is behind every unmet goal:   the fear of taking action!  I despise this fear in myself and others!  Looking at my youth, I seemed not to possess this fear, but the boldness I had then was my reaction to the fear around me.  I was determined to make All-State band on bass clarinet in Texas, so I practiced for hours every day before doing hours of homework.  We lived in a tiny little house on a farm in West Texas, and I'm pretty sure my mother and brother were grateful for the miles of wide open spaces where they could escape my endless etudes and scales.  It paid off.  I made first chair in All Region and Area bands, but I only always made 1st or 2nd alternate at state, because they only let 2 bass clarinets into All State band!  That meant one or two people had to die...or at least get really really sick...for me to get to go to Houston.  It never happened.  Every year my mother said, "You try too hard.  Don't try so hard and you won't get disappointed."  I hated that advice!  It spurred me on!  But what in the world has happened to that audacious young girl?  She is buried somewhere in all of the weight I am carrying around...and I don't just mean the pounds I am determined to lose.  I am talking about the weight of failure in my life!  I carry my failures around like trophies that I shine up and put on a shelf.  If I don't try so hard, I won't be disappointed.  I reject that fear!  This proverb is so full of wisdom that I am constantly considering it.   Proverbs 22:13 reads: "The sluggard says, 'There is a lion outside! or 'I will be murdered in the streets!'"  So slothfulness can begin with fear...or at least fear can be used as an excuse for lazy inaction!  Let us reject the fear that paralyzes us and get about conquering the lions in our path!